feat: DM unreachable member indicators and admin auto-accept peering toggle

packages/web/src/components/layout/DmListItem.tsx

@@ -3,6 +3,13 @@ import { Avatar } from '../ui/Avatar';
 import { Tooltip } from '../ui/Tooltip';
 import { parseFederatedUsername, isSelf } from '../../utils/identity';
 import { formatDmTimestamp, formatDmPreview } from '../../utils/dmFormatters';
+import { getRejectedPeerOrigins } from '../../hooks/useWebSocket';
+
+function isMemberUnreachable(homeInstance: string | null | undefined): boolean {
+  if (!homeInstance) return false;
+  const normalized = homeInstance.startsWith('http') ? homeInstance : `https://${homeInstance}`;
+  return getRejectedPeerOrigins().has(normalized);
+}
 
 interface DmListItemProps {
   dm: DmChannel;
@@ -152,6 +159,13 @@ export function DmListItem({ dm, isActive, isUnread, user, onSelect, onClose, on
               </svg>
             </Tooltip>
           )}
+          {firstOther && isMemberUnreachable(firstOther.homeInstance) && (
+            <Tooltip content="Messages may not reach this user — their instance requires manual peering approval" position="top">
+              <svg width="12" height="12" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" className="text-accent-amber opacity-70 flex-shrink-0">
+                <path d="M1 21h22L12 2 1 21zm12-3h-2v-2h2v2zm0-4h-2v-4h2v4z" />
+              </svg>
+            </Tooltip>
+          )}
           {dm.lastMessage && (
             <span className={timestampClass}>
               {formatDmTimestamp(dm.lastMessage.createdAt)}