diff --git a/packages/web/src/components/layout/DmListItem.tsx b/packages/web/src/components/layout/DmListItem.tsx
index 44200d8e..fe8ea415 100644
--- a/packages/web/src/components/layout/DmListItem.tsx
+++ b/packages/web/src/components/layout/DmListItem.tsx
@@ -3,6 +3,13 @@ import { Avatar } from '../ui/Avatar';
 import { Tooltip } from '../ui/Tooltip';
 import { parseFederatedUsername, isSelf } from '../../utils/identity';
 import { formatDmTimestamp, formatDmPreview } from '../../utils/dmFormatters';
+import { getRejectedPeerOrigins } from '../../hooks/useWebSocket';
+
+function isMemberUnreachable(homeInstance: string | null | undefined): boolean {
+  if (!homeInstance) return false;
+  const normalized = homeInstance.startsWith('http') ? homeInstance : `https://${homeInstance}`;
+  return getRejectedPeerOrigins().has(normalized);
+}
 
 interface DmListItemProps {
   dm: DmChannel;
@@ -152,6 +159,13 @@ export function DmListItem({ dm, isActive, isUnread, user, onSelect, onClose, on
               </svg>
             </Tooltip>
           )}
+          {firstOther && isMemberUnreachable(firstOther.homeInstance) && (
+            <Tooltip content="Messages may not reach this user — their instance requires manual peering approval" position="top">
+              <svg width="12" height="12" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="currentColor" className="text-accent-amber opacity-70 flex-shrink-0">
+                <path d="M1 21h22L12 2 1 21zm12-3h-2v-2h2v2zm0-4h-2v-4h2v4z" />
+              </svg>
+            </Tooltip>
+          )}
           {dm.lastMessage && (
             <span className={timestampClass}>
               {formatDmTimestamp(dm.lastMessage.createdAt)}
diff --git a/packages/web/src/components/modals/instanceSettingsPanels/FederationPanel.tsx b/packages/web/src/components/modals/instanceSettingsPanels/FederationPanel.tsx
index 2ee20213..4b7fb946 100644
--- a/packages/web/src/components/modals/instanceSettingsPanels/FederationPanel.tsx
+++ b/packages/web/src/components/modals/instanceSettingsPanels/FederationPanel.tsx
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ function FederationGlobalSettings() {
   const updateInstanceSettings = useSettingsStore((s) => s.updateInstanceSettings);
   const addToast = useUIStore((s) => s.addToast);
 
-  const [draft, setDraft] = useState<Pick<InstanceAdminSettings, 'federationRelayEnabled' | 'federationRelayTtlDays' | 'defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays'> | null>(null);
+  const [draft, setDraft] = useState<Pick<InstanceAdminSettings, 'federationRelayEnabled' | 'federationRelayTtlDays' | 'defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays' | 'autoAcceptPeering'> | null>(null);
   const [saving, setSaving] = useState(false);
   const [saveError, setSaveError] = useState('');
 
@@ -24,6 +24,7 @@ function FederationGlobalSettings() {
         federationRelayEnabled: instanceSettings.federationRelayEnabled,
         federationRelayTtlDays: instanceSettings.federationRelayTtlDays,
         defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays: instanceSettings.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays,
+        autoAcceptPeering: instanceSettings.autoAcceptPeering,
       });
     }
   }, [instanceSettings]);
@@ -33,7 +34,8 @@ function FederationGlobalSettings() {
   const hasChanges = instanceSettings
     ? draft.federationRelayEnabled !== instanceSettings.federationRelayEnabled ||
       draft.federationRelayTtlDays !== instanceSettings.federationRelayTtlDays ||
-      draft.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays !== instanceSettings.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays
+      draft.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays !== instanceSettings.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays ||
+      draft.autoAcceptPeering !== instanceSettings.autoAcceptPeering
     : false;
 
   const handleSave = async () => {
@@ -55,6 +57,7 @@ function FederationGlobalSettings() {
         federationRelayEnabled: instanceSettings.federationRelayEnabled,
         federationRelayTtlDays: instanceSettings.federationRelayTtlDays,
         defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays: instanceSettings.defaultAutoRotateIntervalDays,
+        autoAcceptPeering: instanceSettings.autoAcceptPeering,
       });
     }
     setSaveError('');
@@ -75,6 +78,14 @@ function FederationGlobalSettings() {
           <Toggle enabled={draft.federationRelayEnabled} onChange={(v) => setDraft({ ...draft, federationRelayEnabled: v })} />
         </label>
 
+        <label className="flex items-center justify-between cursor-pointer">
+          <div>
+            <div className="text-sm font-medium text-txt-primary">Auto-accept peering</div>
+            <div className="text-xs text-txt-tertiary mt-0.5">Automatically accept peering requests from other instances. When disabled, only manually initiated peering is allowed.</div>
+          </div>
+          <Toggle enabled={draft.autoAcceptPeering} onChange={(v) => setDraft({ ...draft, autoAcceptPeering: v })} />
+        </label>
+
         <div>
           <div className="text-sm font-medium text-txt-primary mb-1">Relay TTL (days)</div>
           <div className="text-xs text-txt-tertiary mb-2">How long relayed messages are retained in the outbox before cleanup</div>
@@ -161,6 +172,7 @@ function peerStatusColor(status: string): string {
     case 'active': return 'bg-status-online/15 text-status-online';
     case 'pending': return 'bg-accent-lavender/15 text-accent-lavender';
     case 'unreachable': return 'bg-accent-amber/15 text-accent-amber';
+    case 'rejected': return 'bg-accent-rose/15 text-accent-rose';
     case 'revoked': return 'bg-white/5 text-txt-tertiary';
     default: return 'bg-white/5 text-txt-tertiary';
   }
@@ -171,10 +183,22 @@ function peerStatusDotColor(status: string): string {
     case 'active': return 'bg-status-online';
     case 'pending': return 'bg-accent-lavender';
     case 'unreachable': return 'bg-accent-amber';
+    case 'rejected': return 'bg-accent-rose';
     default: return 'bg-txt-tertiary';
   }
 }
 
+function peerStatusLabel(status: string): string {
+  switch (status) {
+    case 'active': return 'Active';
+    case 'pending': return 'Pending';
+    case 'unreachable': return 'Unreachable';
+    case 'rejected': return 'Rejected (auto-peering denied)';
+    case 'revoked': return 'Revoked';
+    default: return status;
+  }
+}
+
 type PeerView = 'active' | 'revoked';
 type SortBy = 'name' | 'lastSeen' | 'dateAdded' | 'failures';
 type StatusFilter = 'active' | 'unreachable' | 'pending';
@@ -418,7 +442,7 @@ function PeerRow({ peer, view, expanded, onToggleExpand, onAction, defaultAutoRo
         </div>
         <div className="flex items-center gap-2 shrink-0 ml-2">
           <span className={`inline-flex items-center text-[10px] font-medium px-1.5 py-0.5 rounded ${peerStatusColor(peer.status)}`}>
-            {peer.status}
+            {peerStatusLabel(peer.status)}
           </span>
           <span className="text-txt-tertiary text-xs">{expanded ? '▾' : '▸'}</span>
         </div>