Replace the unreliable client-side DM dedup loop in populateFromReady with
a creation-time guard (findExistingDmForUser) that checks all instances
before opening a new DM. Guards added to FriendsPage, NewDmModal, and
UserProfilePopout.
Also fixes: corrupted read_states from temp_ optimistic message IDs (server
migration + client-side validation), federation-aware closeDm/addDmMember
API routing, isSelf-based DM member filtering in sidebar/header, and WS
event error isolation.