fix(federation): broadcast peering_subscription_changed on terminal state

Live verification caught a stale-UI bug: when admin denial / approval
fanout / janitor expiry cascaded subscriber rows away, only the
peering_notification_received WS event fired (which only refetches
the notification list). The user's pending-subscriptions section
stayed stale until manual refresh.

Each terminal-state path now also fires peering_subscription_changed
to affected users so their pending list refreshes alongside the new
notification. Fixed in:
- onPeerActivated.fanoutOutboundSubscribers (approval path)
- handleOutboundDeny (admin denial)
- cleanupExpiredApprovalRequests (janitor expiry; also adds the
  notification-received broadcast that was previously deferred to
  next-page-load only)

packages/server/src/routes/federation.ts

@@ -775,6 +775,10 @@ async function handleOutboundDeny(
       type: 'peering_notification_received' as const,
       kind: 'denied',
     });
+    // Subscriber row is about to cascade-delete; refresh the user's pending list.
+    connectionManager.sendToUser(sub.userId, {
+      type: 'peering_subscription_changed' as const,
+    });
   }
 
   // Cascade-delete clears subscribers via onDelete: 'cascade'.

packages/server/src/utils/federationPeerActivation.ts

@@ -246,6 +246,11 @@ async function fanoutOutboundSubscribers(peerId: string): Promise<void> {
       type: 'peering_notification_received' as const,
       kind: 'approved',
     });
+    // The subscriber row is about to cascade-delete; tell the user's UI to
+    // refetch its pending list so the now-stale row disappears.
+    connectionManager.sendToUser(sub.userId, {
+      type: 'peering_subscription_changed' as const,
+    });
   }
 
   // Cascade-deletes subscriber rows via onDelete: 'cascade'.

packages/server/src/utils/storageJanitor.ts

@@ -460,6 +460,7 @@ export async function cleanupExpiredApprovalRequests(): Promise<number> {
   if (expiredRequests.length === 0) return 0;
 
   const { getOurOrigin, buildFederationHeaders } = await import('./federationAuth.js');
+  const { connectionManager } = await import('../ws/handler.js');
   const ourOrigin = getOurOrigin();
   const now = Date.now();
   let deletedCount = 0;
@@ -486,6 +487,16 @@ export async function cleanupExpiredApprovalRequests(): Promise<number> {
             readAt: null,
           })
           .run();
+        // Subscriber row is about to cascade-delete; if the user is online,
+        // refresh their pending list AND notification list. Offline users see
+        // both on next page load via the GET endpoints (persistence guarantee).
+        connectionManager.sendToUser(sub.userId, {
+          type: 'peering_notification_received' as const,
+          kind: 'expired',
+        });
+        connectionManager.sendToUser(sub.userId, {
+          type: 'peering_subscription_changed' as const,
+        });
       }
       db.delete(schema.peerApprovalRequests)
         .where(eq(schema.peerApprovalRequests.id, req.id))