diff --git a/docs/systems/social.md b/docs/systems/social.md
index 516c5bca..bcf52093 100644
--- a/docs/systems/social.md
+++ b/docs/systems/social.md
@@ -300,6 +300,7 @@ As of 2026-04-25, the sender's home server owns the entire federated friend-add
    - `'pending'` + peer row `awaiting_approval` (re-queried after the call) → 409 `peer_pending_approval`
    - `'rejected'` → 403 `peer_rejected`
    - `'failed'` → 503 `peer_unreachable`
+   - `'admin_required'` (gate fired locally) → 409 `peer_pending_local_admin` — your own admin must approve before we reach out
 5. **lookupRemoteUser(peerOrigin, baseName)** — POSTs HMAC-signed `{ username }` to `peerOrigin/api/federation/users/lookup`. Result mapping:
    - `not_found` → 404 `user_not_found`
    - `unreachable` → 503 `peer_unreachable`
diff --git a/packages/server/src/routes/federation.ts b/packages/server/src/routes/federation.ts
index 62c784df..bf24102d 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/routes/federation.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/routes/federation.ts
@@ -798,14 +798,26 @@ export async function federationRoutes(app: FastifyInstance): Promise<void> {
       }
 
       const { ensurePeered } = await import('../utils/federationPeering.js');
-      const result = await ensurePeered(remoteOrigin);
+      // NOTE: /peer/ensure is currently only invoked from friend-add client paths
+      // (see packages/web/src/stores/instanceStore.ts ensurePeered references).
+      // The hardcoded reason here is correct TODAY but will become wrong when
+      // DM-to-stranger or space-join grow into the gate. When that happens,
+      // surface the reason and target through the request body instead. Do NOT
+      // silently leave the hardcoding in place when adding a new caller.
+      const result = await ensurePeered(remoteOrigin, {
+        kind: 'user_action',
+        userId: request.userId,
+        reason: 'friend_add',
+        target: remoteOrigin,
+      });
 
       // NOTE: The internal EnsurePeeredResult status names differ from the client-facing
       // peeringStatus values. The mapping:
-      //   'active'   → 'active'            (peer is live)
-      //   'rejected' → 'rejected'          (permanently blocked)
-      //   'pending'  → 'awaiting_approval' (queued on remote, waiting for admin)
-      //   'failed'   → 'pending'           (transient error, will retry automatically)
+      //   'active'         → 'active'            (peer is live)
+      //   'rejected'       → 'rejected'          (permanently blocked)
+      //   'pending'        → 'awaiting_approval' (queued on remote, waiting for admin)
+      //   'failed'         → 'pending'           (transient error, will retry automatically)
+      //   'admin_required' → 'admin_required'    (local outbound gate fired — our admin must approve)
       // The internal 'pending' means "we got a 202 from the remote — admin hasn't acted yet",
       // while 'failed' means "network/timeout — the outbox worker will retry next tick".
       // The client sees 'awaiting_approval' (actionable info) vs 'pending' (transient, will resolve).
@@ -818,6 +830,8 @@ export async function federationRoutes(app: FastifyInstance): Promise<void> {
           return reply.code(200).send({ peeringStatus: 'awaiting_approval', error: result.error });
         case 'failed':
           return reply.code(200).send({ peeringStatus: 'pending', error: result.error });
+        case 'admin_required':
+          return reply.code(200).send({ peeringStatus: 'admin_required' });
         default:
           return reply.code(200).send({ peeringStatus: 'pending', error: 'Unknown peering result' });
       }
diff --git a/packages/server/src/routes/social.ts b/packages/server/src/routes/social.ts
index 2db95d7a..4bc66d59 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/routes/social.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/routes/social.ts
@@ -178,7 +178,12 @@ async function handleFederatedFriendRequest(
   }
 
   // 2. ensurePeered — block until 'active', or surface peer status as error
-  const peering = await ensurePeered(peerOrigin);
+  const peering = await ensurePeered(peerOrigin, {
+    kind: 'user_action',
+    userId: sender.id,
+    reason: 'friend_add',
+    target: `${baseName}@${targetDomain}`,
+  });
   if (peering.status === 'rejected') {
     return reply.code(403).send({ error: 'peer_rejected', statusCode: 403, domain: targetDomain });
   }
@@ -195,6 +200,13 @@ async function handleFederatedFriendRequest(
     }
     return reply.code(409).send({ error: 'peer_pending', statusCode: 409, domain: targetDomain });
   }
+  if (peering.status === 'admin_required') {
+    return reply.code(409).send({
+      error: 'peer_pending_local_admin',
+      statusCode: 409,
+      domain: targetDomain,
+    });
+  }
   // peering.status === 'active' — continue
 
   // 3. Lookup
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationOutbox.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationOutbox.ts
index b078f438..08e8d33f 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationOutbox.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationOutbox.ts
@@ -520,6 +520,7 @@ export const CALL_PEERING_TIMEOUT_MS = 3_000;
 export type CallRelayFailureReason =
   | 'peer_rejected'
   | 'peer_awaiting_approval'
+  | 'peer_admin_required'
   | 'peer_transient_failure'
   | 'post_failed';
 
@@ -547,6 +548,7 @@ export function mapCallReasonToEventReason(reason: CallRelayFailureReason): DmCa
   switch (reason) {
     case 'peer_rejected': return 'peer_rejected';
     case 'peer_awaiting_approval': return 'peer_awaiting_approval';
+    case 'peer_admin_required': return 'peer_transient_failure'; // gate-unreachable from system intent; defensive map
     case 'peer_transient_failure': return 'peer_transient_failure';
     case 'post_failed': return 'peer_transient_failure'; // 4xx looks transient to users
   }
@@ -583,14 +585,14 @@ export async function sendCallRelay(
   if (!peer) {
     // ─── Non-blocking mode (typing): warm up in background, do not POST ──
     if (timeoutMs === 0) {
-      ensurePeered(targetPeerOrigin).catch(err => {
+      ensurePeered(targetPeerOrigin, { kind: 'system' }).catch(err => {
         console.warn('[federation] typing-triggered background handshake:', targetPeerOrigin, err);
       });
       return { ok: false, reason: 'peer_transient_failure', error: 'peer not active' };
     }
 
     // ─── Race ensurePeered against the deadline ──
-    const raced = await racePeering(targetPeerOrigin, timeoutMs);
+    const raced = await racePeering(targetPeerOrigin, timeoutMs, { kind: 'system' });
 
     switch (raced.status) {
       case 'active':
@@ -607,6 +609,8 @@ export async function sendCallRelay(
         return { ok: false, reason: 'peer_rejected', error: raced.error };
       case 'pending':
         return { ok: false, reason: 'peer_awaiting_approval', error: raced.error };
+      case 'admin_required':
+        return { ok: false, reason: 'peer_admin_required', error: raced.error };
       case 'failed':
         return { ok: false, reason: 'peer_transient_failure', error: raced.error };
       case 'timeout':
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.approvalToken.test.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.approvalToken.test.ts
index a337738f..385fe076 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.approvalToken.test.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.approvalToken.test.ts
@@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — approval token capture & clear', () => {
     );
 
     const { ensurePeered } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('pending');
 
@@ -120,7 +120,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — approval token capture & clear', () => {
     );
 
     const { ensurePeered } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://legacy.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://legacy.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('pending');
     const peer = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
@@ -135,7 +135,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — approval token capture & clear', () => {
     );
 
     const { ensurePeered } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://empty.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://empty.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('pending');
     const peer = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
@@ -161,7 +161,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — approval token capture & clear', () => {
     );
 
     const { ensurePeered } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
     expect(result.status).toBe('active');
 
     const peer = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.instanceName.test.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.instanceName.test.ts
index c19402d5..ca48bd33 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.instanceName.test.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.instanceName.test.ts
@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — persist remote instanceName', () => {
 
     const { ensurePeered, _clearInFlightPeering } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     _clearInFlightPeering();
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('active');
     const row = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
@@ -117,7 +117,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — persist remote instanceName', () => {
 
     const { ensurePeered, _clearInFlightPeering } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     _clearInFlightPeering();
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('active');
     const row = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ describe('performHandshake — persist remote instanceName', () => {
 
     const { ensurePeered, _clearInFlightPeering } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     _clearInFlightPeering();
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('active');
     const row = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers)
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.outboundGate.test.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.outboundGate.test.ts
index fcaac048..a189b190 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.outboundGate.test.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.outboundGate.test.ts
@@ -134,8 +134,8 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
 
     // Mid-handshake, the pending peer row existed.
     expect(peerRowsDuringHandshake).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(peerRowsDuringHandshake[0].status).toBe('pending');
-    expect(peerRowsDuringHandshake[0].origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
+    expect(peerRowsDuringHandshake[0]!.status).toBe('pending');
+    expect(peerRowsDuringHandshake[0]!.origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
 
     // No outbound queue rows were created.
     const parents = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalRequests).all();
@@ -166,17 +166,17 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
     // Parent row created.
     const parents = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalRequests).all();
     expect(parents).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(parents[0].direction).toBe('outbound');
-    expect(parents[0].origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
-    expect(parents[0].hmacSecret).toBeNull();
+    expect(parents[0]!.direction).toBe('outbound');
+    expect(parents[0]!.origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
+    expect(parents[0]!.hmacSecret).toBeNull();
 
     // Subscriber row created.
     const subs = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalSubscribers).all();
     expect(subs).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(subs[0].userId).toBe('user1');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerReason).toBe('friend_add');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerTarget).toBe('bob@orbit.example');
-    expect(subs[0].requestId).toBe(parents[0].id);
+    expect(subs[0]!.userId).toBe('user1');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerReason).toBe('friend_add');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerTarget).toBe('bob@orbit.example');
+    expect(subs[0]!.requestId).toBe(parents[0]!.id);
 
     // No federation_peers row created; no outbound POST attempted.
     const peers = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers).all();
@@ -288,7 +288,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
     // Existing pending peer row still present (existingPeerId path doesn't delete on failure).
     const peers = testDb.select().from(schema.federationPeers).all();
     expect(peers).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(peers[0].id).toBe('peer-pending');
+    expect(peers[0]!.id).toBe('peer-pending');
   });
 
   // ─── Test 6 ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
@@ -350,7 +350,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
 
     const subsAfterFirst = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalSubscribers).all();
     expect(subsAfterFirst).toHaveLength(1);
-    const firstCreatedAt = subsAfterFirst[0].createdAt;
+    const firstCreatedAt = subsAfterFirst[0]!.createdAt;
 
     // Wait a moment so the refreshed createdAt would differ.
     await new Promise(r => setTimeout(r, 5));
@@ -366,18 +366,18 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
     // Still exactly one parent row keyed on (origin, direction='outbound').
     const parents = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalRequests).all();
     expect(parents).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(parents[0].direction).toBe('outbound');
-    expect(parents[0].origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
+    expect(parents[0]!.direction).toBe('outbound');
+    expect(parents[0]!.origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
 
     // Still exactly one subscriber keyed on (request_id, user_id, reason, target).
     const subs = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalSubscribers).all();
     expect(subs).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(subs[0].userId).toBe('user1');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerReason).toBe('friend_add');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerTarget).toBe('bob@orbit.example');
+    expect(subs[0]!.userId).toBe('user1');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerReason).toBe('friend_add');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerTarget).toBe('bob@orbit.example');
 
     // createdAt was refreshed on the second call.
-    expect(subs[0].createdAt).toBeGreaterThan(firstCreatedAt);
+    expect(subs[0]!.createdAt).toBeGreaterThan(firstCreatedAt);
   });
 
   // ─── Test 8 ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
@@ -409,8 +409,8 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
     // Exactly one parent row.
     const parents = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalRequests).all();
     expect(parents).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(parents[0].origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
-    expect(parents[0].direction).toBe('outbound');
+    expect(parents[0]!.origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
+    expect(parents[0]!.direction).toBe('outbound');
 
     // Two subscribers, both pointing at the same parent.
     const subs = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalSubscribers).all();
@@ -418,7 +418,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
     const userIds = subs.map(s => s.userId).sort();
     expect(userIds).toEqual(['user1', 'user2']);
     for (const sub of subs) {
-      expect(sub.requestId).toBe(parents[0].id);
+      expect(sub.requestId).toBe(parents[0]!.id);
       expect(sub.triggerReason).toBe('friend_add');
       expect(sub.triggerTarget).toBe('bob@orbit.example');
     }
@@ -443,13 +443,13 @@ describe('ensurePeered — outbound gate behavior across (autoAccept × peer-row
 
     const subs = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalSubscribers).all();
     expect(subs).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(subs[0].userId).toBe('user1');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerReason).toBe('space_join');
-    expect(subs[0].triggerTarget).toBe('space-abc-123');
+    expect(subs[0]!.userId).toBe('user1');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerReason).toBe('space_join');
+    expect(subs[0]!.triggerTarget).toBe('space-abc-123');
 
     const parents = testDb.select().from(schema.peerApprovalRequests).all();
     expect(parents).toHaveLength(1);
-    expect(parents[0].direction).toBe('outbound');
-    expect(parents[0].origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
+    expect(parents[0]!.direction).toBe('outbound');
+    expect(parents[0]!.origin).toBe('https://orbit.example');
   });
 });
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.test.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.test.ts
index 2b044795..1a438cf7 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.test.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.test.ts
@@ -51,9 +51,9 @@ describe('racePeering', () => {
       status: 'active',
       peerId: 'peer-1',
     }));
-    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, stub);
+    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, { kind: 'system' }, stub);
     expect(result).toEqual({ status: 'active', peerId: 'peer-1' });
-    expect(stub).toHaveBeenCalledWith('https://example.com');
+    expect(stub).toHaveBeenCalledWith('https://example.com', { kind: 'system' });
   });
 
   it('returns timeout when ensurePeered takes longer than the deadline', async () => {
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ describe('racePeering', () => {
     const stub = vi.fn((): Promise<EnsurePeeredResult> => new Promise(() => {
       // Never resolves — simulates a slow handshake.
     }));
-    const racePromise = racePeering('https://example.com', 50, stub);
+    const racePromise = racePeering('https://example.com', 50, { kind: 'system' }, stub);
     await vi.advanceTimersByTimeAsync(50);
     const result = await racePromise;
     expect(result).toEqual({ status: 'timeout' });
@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ describe('racePeering', () => {
       status: 'rejected',
       error: 'peer denied',
     }));
-    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, stub);
+    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, { kind: 'system' }, stub);
     expect(result).toEqual({ status: 'rejected', error: 'peer denied' });
   });
 
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ describe('racePeering', () => {
     const stub = vi.fn(() => new Promise<EnsurePeeredResult>((_, reject) => {
       setTimeout(() => reject(new Error('late failure')), 30);
     }));
-    const racePromise = racePeering('https://example.com', 10, stub);
+    const racePromise = racePeering('https://example.com', 10, { kind: 'system' }, stub);
     await vi.advanceTimersByTimeAsync(10);
     const result = await racePromise;
     expect(result).toEqual({ status: 'timeout' });
@@ -104,7 +104,7 @@ describe('racePeering', () => {
     const stub = vi.fn(async (): Promise<EnsurePeeredResult> => {
       throw new Error('immediate handshake failure');
     });
-    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, stub);
+    const result = await racePeering('https://example.com', 1_000, { kind: 'system' }, stub);
     expect(result).toEqual({ status: 'failed', error: 'immediate handshake failure' });
     // The handshake rejection was the race winner — no background warn should fire.
     await Promise.resolve();
@@ -156,7 +156,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered needs_attention handling', () => {
     const { ensurePeered } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     const fetchSpy = vi.spyOn(globalThis, 'fetch');
 
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://remote.example', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('rejected');
     if (result.status === 'rejected') {
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.trustGuard.test.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.trustGuard.test.ts
index 56b5cfe9..4d1c4fa9 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.trustGuard.test.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationPeering.trustGuard.test.ts
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered — refuses when unresolved inbound approval-request exis
 
     const { ensurePeered, _clearInFlightPeering } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     _clearInFlightPeering();
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://orbit.test');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://orbit.test', { kind: 'system' });
 
     expect(result.status).toBe('rejected');
     if (result.status === 'rejected') {
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ describe('ensurePeered — refuses when unresolved inbound approval-request exis
 
     const { ensurePeered, _clearInFlightPeering } = await import('./federationPeering.js');
     _clearInFlightPeering();
-    const result = await ensurePeered('https://nopeer.test');
+    const result = await ensurePeered('https://nopeer.test', { kind: 'system' });
 
     // Reached performHandshake — failure mode is 'failed' (network), NOT
     // the pre-handshake 'rejected' from the new guard.
diff --git a/packages/server/src/utils/federationWorker.ts b/packages/server/src/utils/federationWorker.ts
index e2c89507..dc7cb3c7 100644
--- a/packages/server/src/utils/federationWorker.ts
+++ b/packages/server/src/utils/federationWorker.ts
@@ -496,7 +496,7 @@ async function resolvePendingPeers(): Promise<void> {
   for (const { peerId, peerOrigin } of pendingWithEntries) {
     console.log(`[federation-worker] Attempting auto-peer with ${peerOrigin}...`);
 
-    const result = await ensurePeered(peerOrigin);
+    const result = await ensurePeered(peerOrigin, { kind: 'system' });
 
     switch (result.status) {
       case 'active':